Legendary musician Kurt Cobain died on April 5, 1994 at his home in Seattle. If his suicide note evokes a sudden popularity that he had trouble supporting, a member of his family explains that his death was almost inevitable.
His death was a real tragedy for the music world. It was on April 5, 1994 that the singer, composer and musician Kurt Cobain, founder of the group Nirvana, killed himself, in the greenhouse next to his house, in the city of Seattle in the north-west of the United States. In addition to the death of an idol, the event unleashed the chronicle because of unclear circumstances surrounding this tragedy, as has been the case for many other celebrity deaths. Indeed it is only April 8, three days after his death, that Kurt Cobain’s corpse was discovered, the excavations of his home did not immediately include the greenhouse in the garden. In addition, conspiracy theories stipulating that Kurt Cobain was killed and did not commit suicide are still numerous.
A contested suicide
It was an electrician, who had come to install a new security system, who discovered the lifeless body of Kurt Cobain in his greenhouse on April 8, 1994. Next to the body, the singer’s personal effects indicated of the last very dark hours. A bullet in the head, a gun to the chest, injections in each arm, a box with all his heroin addiction equipment and a farewell letter, this is the scene photographed by the police when the young father of a little girl was finally found. As seen in the crime scene photographs, Kurt Cobain was otherwise always wearing a hospitalization bracelet, proof of his recent stay in a rehab center from which he fled by climbing a wall just before killing himself.
Despite this evidence, many have doubted the thesis of suicide and who preferred another much darker hypothesis: that of the murder. However, the file has been re-examined several times, notably in 2014 by the Seattle police, who at the time had confirmed to be a suicide. In 2021, the FBI released a report that collected letters from the public asking for the case to be reopened. In its responses to letters to it, the FBI pointed out that no evidence that the law was violated was found in the case and that on top of that, Kurt Cobain’s death is a matter of concern. a local jurisdiction and not a government agency. The thesis of the suicide was, once again, confirmed.
A suicide note filled with distress
As if trying to find one last time the carefree child he was, it was to his imaginary friend Boddah that Kurt Cobain addressed himself when writing his farewell letter. And it was indeed his letter, the handwriting having been meticulously analyzed several times in order to confirm that he was indeed the author. The latter bears witness toa deep malaise, a certain depressive state and distress that Kurt Cobain thought he could never overcome. “It’s been years since I felt enthusiastic when listening to or making music. And I don’t have the words to express the guilt it makes me feel“wrote the musician before describing his feelings when he went on stage, far from the exaltation that Freddy Mercury could feel in front of his audience.
Wishing not to deceive its public and considering that “the worst crime would be to pretend to be 100% happy to be there” in front of his public, the husband of Courtney Love emphasizes, throughout his letter, the difficulty he has in appreciating everything he experiences at its fair value. “I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numbed to regain the enthusiasm I had when I was a child. (…) I can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and the empathy I feel for everyone (…) I just love people too much, so much that it makes me fucking miserable“. To conclude his letter, Kurt Cobain thanked his fans and expressed his love for his wife Courtney Love one last timeand their daughter, Frances Bean Cobain.
Family history and linked destiny
Kurt Cobain’s letter underlines it painfully: the singer was depressed, lost and without solution in the face of an omnipresent pain, both physical and mental. Because he also suffered from chronic bronchitis and stomach pain that was never really diagnosed. During an interview with Healthy Me!a cousin of Kurt Cobain, Beverly Cobain, has also explained that the singer had also been diagnosed as suffering from bipolar disorder. This mental health nurse who decided to turn to suicide prevention was greatly inspired by the tragic history of her family.
Years before Kurt Cobain’s suicide, two of the singer’s uncles killed themselves, also with firearms. Depression and alcoholism were part of everyday life in the Cobain family, and Kurt was simply its most notorious victim. Despite a correct diagnosis, the musician did not never received proper treatment for his various mental illnesses, causing him to experience major mood swings that took him from euphoria to rage to irritability to guilt in a very short time. It is therefore alone that he tried to heal himselfwith various drugs giving him dopamine and, for a time, thanks to the endorphin secreted by his body during the rush of concerts.
But depression is a formidable monster that drew all the strength from Kurt Cobain and against which drugs, no matter how much, could no longer fight. The one who was only a young man propelled among the most famous singers in the world in a few years had only little chance of getting out. Even without a celebrity who made it difficult for her, her cousin explains that Kurt’s destiny was already doomed to be strewn with pitfalls. “I think there was a good chance that Kurt would kill himself, no matter what career he had. He was a high-risk person: untreated bipolar disorder, drug problems, suicides in the family, alcoholism, violent and unstable childhood, low self-esteem, violent marriage. Kurt would have been the perfect example of a person at risk for suicide”. Besides the musical revolution he brought to the punk rock universe, Kurt Cobain also, in a way, helped to show the invisiblethe inner pains as formidable as any disease and against which it is always so difficult to fight.